


Blue Roses

by Skittlesun



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Inspired by Sanders Sides, M/M, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skittlesun/pseuds/Skittlesun
Summary: "You made flowers grow in my lungs. Although they're beautiful... I can't fucking breathe."Up until Roman begins coughing up flowers, he never thought love would betray him. But here he was, pathetically scratching at his throat as more and more flowers tumble out his mouth. Roman fell in love with someone he's sure won't love him back.





	Blue Roses

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested, you can follow my main Tumblr @skittlesun where I reblog memes or you can follow my side blog @gloves-for-snakes where I'll be actually writing

>  

**HANAHAKI DISEASE**  
**The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they believe their love goes unrequited.**

 

Up until this moment, Roman had never thought something so beautiful could harm him in such a way.

Flowers. Flowers were spilling out of his mouth and into the lush red carpet of his whimsical room. Such beautiful, indigo coloured flowers. They reminded Roman of _him._ With the sudden thought of Virgil, more flowers tumbled out of his mouth, making it hard to breathe and hard to think.

Yes, the thought that the one person he loved didn't love him back was terribly painful, but the literal indigo flowers he was puking out was physically tearing his throat apart. He wondered if this was what _true love_ was. Knowing someone didn't share your feelings but loving them enough to die anyway.

If that was what love was, love was more fucked up than what his story books made him believe. He would have laughed at that thought if he weren't currently coughing out flower petals.

He shoved the thought of love and everything aside, especially the thought of Virgil. The flowers stopped coming up to his throat and out his mouth, but with how his lungs tickled and the painful scratching of his throat, Roman guessed they were still there. Growing... resting.

Roman looked around him, checking the alarm clock near on his bedside table. It was 2:38 in the morning, something Virgil would call "stupid o'clock." Roman smiled at the thought before doubling over.

He groaned, wiping the blood from his lips away using his white pyjama sleeves. Not his wisest decision, but it worked. Under normal circumstances, Roman would still be asleep, dreaming of his adventures, but normal circumstances did not include coughing up three gardens worth of flowers.

Roman swept a weak hand through his hair and got up, walking towards the hallway, making his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, the awkward shuffling of his feet making him sound like a zombie walking around. That would make sense, since he did feel dead, and if anything was dead, it would be zombies. Or maybe Veronica Sawyer.

He chuckled, but regretted that soon after as his throat began to hurt even more. Roman sighed. Was this what Chloe Beale felt like in Pitch Perfect?

The fanciful side shuffled his way to the kitchen, but as he got nearer and nearer, Roman heard shuffling coming from the room. Figuring it was just Patton getting himself a cookie, Roman continued on his pursuit for needed h2o.

Roman stopped dead in his tracks when he was just close enough to see the familiar dark jacket that only _Virgil_ would wear, facing the open fridge. There was a sickening feeling of dread in his stomach, and the need to retch tugged at him.

Princey could do nothing but stare as the person he was suffering for turned with a handful of food in his arms. Virgil's eyes met his, and everything froze. They both stood still, and Roman felt nothing but unimaginable pain coming from his lungs.

Virgil set his food down on the counter quietly. "Why are you awake?" Virgil questioned, opening a can of cherry soda.

Roman shrugged, unable to trust his mouth to speak without a flower coming out. God, even staring at Virgil made him want to spit out a flower.

Virgil raised an eyebrow at this. "Why so quiet? You're usually so... chatty."

Roman winced at that. Was that statement meant to be hurtful? No matter, it sure _sounded_ hurtful. His throat demanded to be eased in pain. Roman recoiled.

Virgil's unfeeling facade changed into a concerned one as he stared at Roman carefully, taking in the thick eyebags and the pale complexion. "Hey, are you... are you okay, Roman?"

The creative one of the two nodded his head vigorously, but his painful cringing said otherwise. Virgil slowly made his way to Roman, abandoning whatever he was doing.

Roman's eyes widened in pain, and forgetting what he went there for, he dashed away, running back to his room before coughing out flower petals. The petals were coated with small droplets of blood. Roman's coughing fit didn't subside for another minute, and when it did, Roman collapsed into a heap on the floor, his back on the door.

Virgil's concerned footsteps made their way until they were in front of Roman's bedroom door, and his loud knocking followed afterwards, demanding to be let in. Roman blinked his tears away, half for pain and half for sadness.

"Roman!" Virgil's voice called, frantic knocking lacing his words. "Roman, let me in!"

"L-Leave me alone, Vir -" another coughing fit interrupted his words. Roman's feet was now buried in dark blue rose petals.

Virgil stopped knocking for a moment. "Roman? Please let me in."

Roman debated on unlocking the door, but... no. That would just increase his chances of death by literal flowers. He gave a cough. "S-Sorry, Virgil, bu-but I can't let you in-in here."

Speaking made him want to have water, but the silence after that statement hurt him even more. After a minute which seemed like a lifetime, Virgil spoke. "I'm going to get the others, okay, Roman? Hold on."

The hurt in Anxiety's cracking voice made Roman  wince a little.

True to his word, three sets of footsteps stopped just in front of Roman's door. Polite knocking came after wards.

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Roman?" Logan's concerned but exhausted voice called through the door. "Open up, Roman."

Muffled conversation could be heard just outside the door. They were either muffled because of the slab of wood separating them or Roman's hearing was similar to that of someone underwater.

Roman weakly unlocked the door, and opened it just a crack, allowing a slither of light to spill into his dark room. "C-can only L-Logan enter fo-for now...?"

A silence. Then Logan entered the dimly lit room, his analytical eyes resting on the heap of a human on the floor which was Roman. Logan watched, confused, as Roman crawled to his bed and hid himself under his extravagant red duvet.

"I'm going to turn the lights on, alright, Roman?" Logan asked, his fingers ready to flick the lightswitch on.

A movement from under the duvet was observed, and Logan took it for a permission. He flicked the lights on, cringing at the sudden vibrance. Logan blinked his eyes into adjustment, and the first thing his caramel brown eyes laid upon on were heaps of blue and violet roses and petals on the floor where Princey laid in just moments ago. Upon closer inspection, Logan found that the petals were coated with droplets of rich, red blood.

Logan was more than terrified, now. Had Princey murdered something and dipped the flowers in its blood? Had something even _worst_ happened here? Logan rattled his head for an answer before reaching a rational decision to sit next to Roman in his bed.

The more... fact-y intelligent side cleared his throat. Coaxing someone out of their large blankets to face the world was more of Patton's thing, not his. In other words, Logan had no idea where to begin.

"Roman, may I take those blankets off of you? Or will the room temperature be too cold for you?"

"You can..." the duvet answered hesitantly, with a shuffling under it.

Logan nodded, moving his arms to slowly pull off the blanket without alarming the person underneath it. Logan jumped at what he saw.

Roman was now paler, a sickly pale color one would see on a dead body, although in such circumstances, with how he looked, Roman would look better off dead. Dark eyebags the colour of bruises hung underneath Roman's tired eyes, their usual fantastic gleam now gone. Rich blood trickled down Roman's jaw.

Logan calmed himself down. "Forgive me for the sudden yelp, I was - for lack of a better word - freaked out," he apologized, unable to hide the look of disgust at Roman's appearance.

Roman scoffed and winced. " _Y-you're_ freaked out? Think about h-how _I'm_ feeling!"

God, his voice sounded raspy. It's how Logan would imagine someone who'd just crossed a three hundred mile desert without bringing along a bottle of water. Roman seemed to whimper upon hearing his own voice.

He'd be lying if Logan claimed he didn't feel pity. For decency, Logan excused himself with a small, "Wait here, Princey. I'll get you a glass of water, all right?"

"As if I could leave at my state," Roman retorted, his breathing ragged and his voice mimicking the sound of nails on a blackboard.

Moments later, Logan returned, in his hands, a glass of water which Roman happily gulped down. Logan politely sat next to the sick boy.

"Mind explaining what's going on?" Logan requested. "Two of our friends are sitting on the other side of that door, not knowing what's happening, and while I'm here with you, I also cannot say I can explain to them."

Roman sighed, his voice still raspy and his lungs still itchy, but speaking no longer hurting so much. "I can't explain it either!" he dramatically cried out, burying his face on his blankets again. "All I know is I just started coughing up _freakin'_ flowers, and suddenly I feel like I'm dying every time I think of one person!"

As if on cue, Roman involuntarily thought of Virgil and began to cough up flowers once more. After the distressing coughing, Roman turned to Logan with pleading eyes. "Please help me, Logan...."

Logan stared at Roman thoughtfully. He got up from the bed. "I think I have some books. Do you mind if I leave you alone for a moment?"

"Sure," Roman managed, swallowing the lump on his throat he had a sneaking suspicion was actually another flower. "Can you let Patton in?"

Logan nodded. "Of course. Would you like me to invite Virgil in?"

At the mention of Virgil, Roman almost doubled over, but he stomached the flowers and shook his head vigorously, not entrusting his mouth to speak. Logan gave him a last concerned look before disappearing on the other side of the door.

Roman heard a muffled arguement.

"What the fuck does he mean he doesn't want to see me?!" A furious Virgil demanded.

"Kiddo, please calm down, he probably just is overwhelmed with having more than one person in the room with him," Patton assured, doubt evident in how he phrased his words.

"I don't give a fuck! I know I haven't always gotten along with Prince Charming, but does he hate me _that_ _fucking much_?!"

Roman blinked tears away as he heard Patton comforting Virgil. _I_ _don't_ _hate_ _you_ _at all,_ he wanted to scream. _It's just I love you_ _too_ _much._

With a sad frown, Roman added, _And_ _that's_ _why I'm dying._

Roman's throat began to hurt again as his lungs began to close up before opening again. Patton entered the room, a concerned look plastered on his face as he examined Roman. Without warning, Patton attacked Roman in a hug so tight, Roman was afraid his spine would break.

The barrage of questions came. "Do you need water? Maybe cookies? Should I call someone? Is the room too cold? Too hot? I'm- Roman, are you okay?"

The temptation to say something sassy like "Do I look okay?" was outweighed by endearment for Patton. Roman offered Morality a weak smile. "I'm great, Patton."

Patton embraced Roman in another hug, this one softer and easier on Roman's weak back. He was overcome with positive emotions, and for a moment, Roman had completely forgotten he was about to die.

And then Logan barged back in the room, a handful of books grasped tightly in his arms, or rather two books triple the size of the dictionary. Logan calmly set them down on the bed. With a closer look, Roman found the books titled _Fanfictions_ _Thomas Reads Instead of Going to Sleep_ and _Types_ _of_ _Fanfictions and Alternate Universes that exist in Fanfictions._

"Logan, I am literally dying and you choose to read a how to write Sherlock Holmes fanfiction?" Roman joked lightly.

Logan took it literally. "Technically, you can't die," he argued, eyebrows scrunching up. "Your physical form can disappear, but a human cannot function without any creativity or sense of adventure, so your creative essence, or however you put it, will continue to exist."

Roman cringed at the thought. "That's... reassuring, Logan. But seriously, how is fanfiction going to save me?"

Logan rolled his eyes in a way to lighten the mood, but the concerned expression stayed plastered to his face. "The only text where your... _sickness_ is mentioned is in fanfiction," Logan explained. "It seems to be a fictional disease."

Roman nodded. He knew all of this. "Yes, yes. Hanahaki disease, I know what it is. I'm the creative side, so of course I know my stuff."

Logan nodded. Patton turned to Logan. "What's Hanahaki disease?" He asked curiously.

Logan pressed his glasses further up. "Hanahaki disease is what is written to be some sort of fictional disease which can be contracted when one suffers from one-sided love. The person with Hanahaki disease will then uncontrollably cough up flowers until the person they love reveals that they, too, love them or until they die." Logan flashed Roman a concerned stare. "The flowers can be removed surgically, but the feelings towards the person they love will also disappear."

It was an offer, Roman realized. Logan was offering him a possibility to avoid death with the catch of forgetting all romantic feelings for Virgil. He dwelled over the thought, but decided that was just delaying the inevitable. He'd more than likely fall in love with Virgil again. If it was happening now, it would be probable that it would happen again in the future. Roman shook his head firmly, declining the removal of the flowers. Logan nodded in agreement.

Patton winced. "Angsty," he commented. "But if it's fictional, how does Roman have it?"

Logan shrugged. "My guess is because of Roman's role as Thomas's creative side. Roman is meant to be some sort of... cartoonic character, and cartoonic characters are affected by cartoonic things."

Patton turned to face Roman, his usually carefree, childish face replaced by scary seriousness. "Then who?"

Roman backed up for fear of Patton. "W-what do you mean, 'who?'"

"Logan just explained it. Hanahaki is the result of the belief that you're suffering from one sided love. Who do you love that you're convinced doesn't love you back?"

Roman looked away, face flushed and eyes averted. He wasn't _convinced_ Virgil didn't like him back, at least in the romantic sense. He _knew_ Virgil hated him. After all those times of hateful comments, Roman couldn't blame the angel. He'd been so mean to Virgil that the thought of Virgil hating him and everything he stood for wasn't so foreign.

"Nothing," Roman answered abruptly. "No one. I'm not suffering from any one sided love shit. All I know is I started coughing up flowers one morning and now I'm dying. The books are wrong."

Logan narrowed his eyes from behind those thick framed glasses. "The books are _never_ wrong," he said firmly. "Roman, it's revealing your crush or dying, think this through!"

"It's _no one_ , okay?!"

Maybe the fates had been toying with him, because right at that moment, as if to debunk his lie, Roman coughed out petals and petals of flowers on his bed, all laced in blood which was almost invisible resting on the red blanket. He puked, but only flowers came out. To make matters worse, Virgil entered the room uninvited.

"Is everything okay?!" Virgil cried out, obviously panicked.. "I heard puking and thought the worst."

Roman hugged himself tightly as more flowers came out his mouth. Roman's eyes were glassy with the tears which had gathered there. It hurt so much. His throat was being ripped apart and his lungs felt like they were being punctured. Tears of pain and sadness and anger directed at himself ran out from his eyes, and in a desperate attempt to stop them, Roman shut his eyes tightly. He would have laughed at himself if he could. He would have looked pathetic.

"Oh my god," he heard Virgil whisper. "Is... Is Roman okay? Oh god.... Um, Roman, you look like literal hell."

Roman laughed weakly. "R-really feeling the love there, Virge."

With the four sides in one room, Roman felt as if he was in a safer place, but with every glance at Virgil's direction, Roman felt his throat slowly brace itself and his lungs fill up with something that was definitely not air.

Logan gave Roman a pointed look. "Now, after that fit of petal puking, are you ready to tell us your little crush, Roman?"

Roman mentally willed his eyes to stay looking at the floor, as far away from Virgil as possible for fear he might actually throw up his guts along with the flowers. "It's... It's no one, Logan."

Logan sighed in defeat, and Patton took over. "C'mon, kiddo, tell us. Is it Valerie's fanciful side?"

"Patton, I'm gay."

"Uhm... Is it Dan or Phil's fanciful side?"

"No. It's no one. No sides, no people, no one."

He could feel Virgil's glare on him, staring him down with daggers. Virgil spoke, his voice laced with annoyance. "Ro, look, you are legit dying -"

"Actually, my physical form is just disappearing."

"- and it's either death or telling us who you like, and if you choose death, then you're stupid, god dammit!"

Roman glanced at Virgil, his face betraying no emotion. Virgil was the one he was dying for, and here he was, getting yelled by him. Anger took over his main emotions. Irrational anger. Anger towards Virgil for not liking him as far as he knew, and anger directed towards himself for getting angry at Virgil. Without thinking, he spat, "Why do you care, anyway?!"

Virgil visible stiffened, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat and desperately blinking away tears. After a moment of thick, sickening silence, Virgil answered: "I actually _have_ feelings, you know?"

That sentence broke Roman's heart into little pieces. How could he have been so insensitive?! Jesus, he'd been mistreating Virgil all these years.... No wonder he most probably hated him.

Virgil continued. "I'm allowed to feel emotions. Hell, my entire existence is based on emotions. And I'm not such a terrible person as you make me out to be. I'm... I'm not always the best, but I try. I try, okay?! And one thing I don't have to try to do is _care_ for you. And if you don't want me to care for you, well then, _tough shit_ because I do."

He... _cared_ for Roman? Somehow, knowing that made the tense feeling in Roman's lungs ease a bit and metaphorical butterflies flew around Roman's stomach. Logan and Patton hadn't said anything, but the looks they gave Roman were just begging him.

Averting his eyes, Roman sighed. He glanced at Virgil briefly. "It's you. It's you, okay, Virgil? It's you."

He said it in a whisper, barely heard for anyone but Virgil, who'd heard it as a shout. The silence after that statement was deafening. Oh, the irony of that.

Maybe it was Roman mishearing things, or maybe he'd made it to personality heaven, because the next thing he knew, Virgil had replied, "Well, maybe I like you too. Ever thought of that, smart guy?"

Roman slowly lifted his head, but his lips were met with Virgil's. And suddenly, they were kissing. Roman's chapped lips against Virgil's soft ones.

Roman felt the pain in his throat disappear and his lungs open up, allowing him to breathe freely. Roman and Virgil broke apart for air. Virgil was grinning softly.

"Do you always have to be so extra?" Virgil asked as Patton and Logan excused themself out of the room. "You almost die to reveal a small crush."

Roman gave him an amused stare. "Honey, believe me, I didn't want to die."

Virgil laughed. "I wouldn't want you to die, too."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't forget to review, it helps.
> 
> If you're interested, you can follow my main Tumblr @skittlesun where I reblog memes or you can follow my side blog @gloves-for-snakes where I'll be actually writing


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